Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
