I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
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The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
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At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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