haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
