Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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