OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
