I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Let's get the cat blown out
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
