This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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