I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
