The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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