Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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