After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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