when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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