Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
