Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
