so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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