careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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