Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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