walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
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i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
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Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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