if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
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Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
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I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"