sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.