I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent