Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
