This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..