It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.