I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The struggles of a small town man whore
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
