This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
