thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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