Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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