I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
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if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
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I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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