he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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