i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
