so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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