i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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