dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
