But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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