your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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