Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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