All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
