I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
