I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize