Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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