Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
