I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
