Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
