we have pet lesbian snakes
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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