so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
