Moan for me like Helen Keller
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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