Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
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To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
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I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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