I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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