I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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