It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
