I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
