I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
