I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
