Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
why is half of my head shaved?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
