Im at strip club and am horny
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
