Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
