its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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