I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
