The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
