I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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