i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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