I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
