This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
