Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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