Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
