Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
