dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize