Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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